Becoming Your Own Lover

What if pleasure wasn’t something you had to wait for from someone else but something you could gift yourself, every single day?

For so long, I thought self-pleasure was just... masturbat!on. Genital touch. A quick release. Nothing more.

But the deeper I’ve gone into cultivating a self-pleasure practice, bringing in sensuality, slowness, and deep listening to my own desires, the more it’s opened up a whole new world. A deeper, richer understanding of pleasure. Of what I love. Of what lights me up.

Some of the most beautiful, sensual experiences I’ve ever had have been with myself, because who knows better where I want to be touched, how slow or soft I want to go, than me?

And it’s not just about sexual touch. Pleasure lives in the smallest, sweetest places:

🌿 The feeling of a breeze brushing against my skin when I walk in nature.

🌿 Running my fingertips over the rough bark of a tree, or the velvety softness of a leaf.

🌿 Inhaling the scent of crushed eucalyptus in my hands.

Most of the things we long for from lovers... the tenderness, the attention, the attunement, we can offer to ourselves, more intuitively than anyone else could.

We know the exact spot. The perfect pressure. The kind of touch that feels like being worshipped. The song we want to dance to. The kind of words our heart aches to hear.

And sometimes, it’s nice not to have to ask. Just to receive, without needing permission.

Some of my favorite acts of self-pleasure and self-love:

🎶 Singing love songs to myself.

💃 Dancing slowly, sensually, wildly... just for me.

💌 Writing myself love letters.

🍽️ Cooking meals that feel like a love offering.

🌿 Taking myself on adventures... big or small.

👗 Stripping slowly for myself in the mirror, savoring the art of being seen... by me.

All of these are acts of devotion. All of these are ways of remembering: I am already worthy of the love, the pleasure, the tenderness I seek.

✨ How do you honor yourself through self-pleasure or self-dating?

Photo credit: Vas Chakra Photography at Velvet Temple Eros' Church of Sluts