Healing Wounds on the Stage
From my own experience of getting up on stage and sharing deeply vulnerable stories, I know how terrifying it can feel. Stories laced with so much shame that I never thought I would speak them aloud, stories I feared might cost me love, connection, or belonging if people saw the flawed, messy, wounded parts of me.
Shame is such a driver for secrecy. It festers under the masks we wear, gaining more power the more we push it away. And yet, shame is part of being human. Most of us have done things we’re not proud of. What I discovered, through speaking those stories again and again as I rehearsed, wrote, and read them aloud, was that each time the ickiness inside grew softer. Eventually, it quieted down. I began to see myself with more compassion, even to understand the protective mechanisms that had led to some of my shameful actions.
By the time I stepped onto the stage, I wasn’t trying to be perfect anymore. I was tired of hiding behind who I thought others wanted me to be. And what I found was that showing these parts of myself wasn’t just healing for me, it was a gift to others. Because we all carry shame. We all have moments where our inner children rear up, stressed or unskilled, and we do things we wish we hadn’t.
The same has been true with grief. Our culture has pushed grief into silence, hidden behind closed doors, when it used to be witnessed and supported in community. Sharing my grief in a raw and unfiltered way on stage was one of the most healing experiences of my life. Each rehearsal, my body shook, tears streaming. But I kept going, because I could feel how much this process was moving me through.
When wounds are spoken, whether in friendship, in community, or on the OUTSPOKEN stage, they loosen their grip. They soften. They become easier to hold. OUTSPOKEN has been such a powerful container for this, not just for me but for so many others. Healing ripples through the room, for the one speaking, and for those listening who quietly whisper, “me too.”
Photo credit: @hmerlfoto
Wear Your Ridiculousness Every day
I read a part of a poem from @christhecocreater. It reads:
“Every time I tried to look wise I killed the part of me that knew how to play. Turns out the cure for shame is wearing your ridiculousness like lingerie.”
Something about the way we are trained to be serious adults and this creates shame when the parts of us that want to be playful and ridiculous come out. We are all inherently playful beings, we just might have forgotten how. Society sees achievement and perfection as hallmarks for success but this doesn’t leave much room for being ridiculous and weird (because that’s not what the world has taught us is acceptable) and then we mask and hide ourselves away in secrecy the messy parts are shamed but I think why not embrace them all. Be silly, not force yourself into a box you don’t fit into and hide away all the messy bits that every human has, and I personally think are the most intersting and joyful parts of us. If we stop caring about looking silly and trying to always say the right thing, the smartest thing, the best thing, to come across as successful then we are building shame and squashing our essence.
I read a part of a poem from @christhecocreater. It reads:
“Every time I tried to look wise I killed the part of me that Knew how to play Turns out The cure for shame is Wearing your ridiculousness Like lingerie.”
Something about this really hit me. We’re trained to become “serious adults,” and somewhere along the way, we learn to hide the parts of ourselves that want to be playful, silly, even ridiculous. And when those parts do sneak out, shame shows up fast.
The truth is, we are all inherently playful beings but many of us have forgotten. Society teaches us that achievement and perfection are what make us valuable. There isn’t much space in that story for being weird, messy, or unpolished. So we tuck those sides of ourselves away, mask them, and pretend they don’t exist.
But those messy, silly parts are not flaws. They’re often the most interesting, joyful, and human parts of us. So don’t hide them away and force ourselves into a box that was never meant to fit.
If we stop worrying about looking smart, polished, or “successful” all the time, we stop feeding the shame that tells us we’re not enough and we make more space for our essence, our ridiculousness, our play.
Learning to Receive
I used to think the only way people would stay in my life was if I kept over-giving. To always put in the effort, to hold on tightly to the relationship, even if it meant ignoring my own needs.
Looking back, I can see how much of that was just me people-pleasing, rejecting myself, abandoning myself, trying to earn love instead of trusting I deserved it. Only recently have I started voicing more of what I actually need. Telling people how they can support me and what I need to feel loved and valued. Allowing myself to receive care (something I didn’t even realise I struggled with, because I thought I had to do everything myself).
And wow, the difference is huge. When I’ve asked, people have shown up. When I’ve opened, support has poured in. I’m learning to lean into that, to let myself be held, and it feels softer, easier, more balanced than the way I used to do things.
On the flip side, I also love when people tell me how they want to be supported. That feels like the healthiest way to give, not from people-pleasing, but from an authentic place where care flows both ways.
Demonising Attachment Styles Doesn’t Help Any of Us
It’s so common to hear avoidant, anxious, or disorganised attachment talked about as if one is “better” than the others, demonising particular insecure attachment styles that might challenge you or differ from your own. I've been there! But let's re-frame this. These are not flaws. They’re coping and protective strategies we learned in childhood. They are ways we adapted to the dynamics of our families or other relationships to feel safe.
Now as adults, those same strategies play out in our relationships. That doesn’t make us villains. It makes us human.
The real shift happens when we stop pointing fingers at our partners and start taking accountability for our own part. When we notice our patterns, bring awareness to them, and choose to update the ones that no longer serve us. That’s how we build self-trust, and eventually, more secure and connected relationships.
Blame and shame only make us more defensive and closed (and our partners more defensive and closed). Curiosity and compassion open the door to understanding each other’s perspectives and ourselves. None of us asked for these attachment strategies, but it is our responsibility to bring awareness to and change them if we want to create healthier, thriving connections.
We are not here to repeat the old stories of silence, suppression, and “don’t feel.” We are here to do it differently, to meet ourselves and each other with care, and grow together. 🌱
The Beauty of Weird
There’s something magical about the weird parts of you that don’t quite fit the mould. The quirky ideas, the offbeat sense of humour, the way your mind works in spirals instead of straight lines. Maybe you’ve spent years trying to smooth out your edges, blend in, or be a little more “normal” but what if the very things that make you weird are also your greatest gifts?
Your uniqueness isn’t a flaw to fix. It’s a spark that shows what lights you up. It’s the part of you that’s naturally creative, naturally curious, naturally you. What makes you different from everyone else is often what makes you shine. Your weirdness can be the thing that draws your people in, that inspires someone else to feel brave enough to be themselves too.
We believe in celebrating what makes you you and letting it thrive. Because the world doesn’t need more of the same, it needs people who are unapologetically themselves. Whether it’s your wild ideas, your unconventional ways of connecting dots that others haven't connected, your ability to turn everyday moments into adventures, or the way you can transform a room just by being present... lean into it. Whatever makes you weird is also what makes you wonderful. We love weird! And we think weird is worth celebrating.
So next time you feel the urge to tone it down or fit in, remember: Your weirdness is what makes you unforgettable. 🌱✨
Photo credit: Vas Chakra Photography
Connection Between Creative and Sexual Energy
Have you ever noticed how creativity, pleasure and sexual energy can feel similar in your body? That buzzing, vibrant, electric feeling, like something new is being born from within. That’s because these energies are deeply linked, flowing from the same wellspring of life force within us.
In many traditions, this connection is understood through the lens of the energy centers (chakras). Our Sacral Chakra (located just below the navel) is associated with both sexual energy and creative flow. It’s the seat of our desires, pleasure, passion, and the impulse to create... whether that’s art, ideas, or intimate connection. When this energy is flowing freely, we feel vital, inspired, and deeply connected to our own creative power.
When we stifle our sexual energy, through shame, repression, or stress, we may also find our creativity feeling blocked or stagnant. Similarly, when we suppress our creative impulses, our sense of sensuality and aliveness can also feel muted. The two are interwoven: when one thrives, often the other does too.
Embracing this link means allowing ourselves to feel pleasure in more ways than just sexual pleasure. It’s about giving ourselves permission to play, explore, move, and express. It’s about letting our bodies feel alive through dance, through making art, through spontaneous connection, through pleasure in all its forms.
One way to nurture this connection is to engage in practices that awaken your Sacral Chakra:
✨ Dance freely — let your hips move and your breath flow.
✨ Express your desires aloud — whether that’s what you want to create or how you want to feel.
✨ Create without an end goal — paint, write, sing, just for the joy of it.
✨ Indulge your senses — touch, taste, listen to music that stirs something in you.
Self-Care Beyond Bubble Baths
We often hear that self-care means taking a bubble bath, lighting candles, or treating ourselves to something nice. While those moments of softness are beautiful, self-care goes so much deeper. It’s about tending to yourself in ways that make you feel truly seen and supported by yourself.
Here are a few simple, everyday rituals to practice self-care in a way that nurtures your whole being:
✨ Speak to Yourself with Kindness
Replace harsh self-talk with gentle words. If you catch yourself saying something unkind, like, “You’re so bad at this,” pause and gently reframe it. Try saying, “Let me say that again,” and replace it with a kinder, more supportive thought, like, “I’m learning this new skill, and it’s okay to take time to get better. I’ll get there.” Offer yourself compassion instead of criticism.
✨ Practice Embodied Gratitude
Take a few minutes each day to move your body with gratitude. Hug yourself, stretch, sway, dance or give yourself some loving touch. As you move, thank your body for what it carries and how it shows up for you, even when you’re tired or stressed. I think movement is one of the best acts of self care.
✨ Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Self-care sometimes means saying “no” to an invitation, opportunity, or request, and being discerning with how you protect your energy. Remind yourself that your needs are valid and that honouring them is an act of love.
✨ Create a Daily Check-In
Ask yourself: “What do I need today?” or “What’s one small thing that would make me feel cared for?” Let your answer guide a tiny act of self-kindness. It could be drinking more water, resting when you need to, nourising your body with a beautiful cooked meal you have made for yourself with love.
Self-care doesn't always need to be big gestures. It is about showing up for yourself, listening with presence, honesty, and tenderness. It’s about choosing to nurture your mind, body, and heart in small, sustainable ways.
Difference between Boundaries and Walls
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the difference between boundaries and walls.
For much of my life, I’ve had walls up. They were protective mechanisms, armour built from past hurts and conditioning. And they did their job, they kept me safe. But they also kept me stuck. Because while those walls kept pain out, they also kept love and connection out.
That’s the paradox of walls: the part of me that craves closeness and trust ends up creating more disconnection by shutting people out. The scared, untrusting part wants to avoid being taken advantage of… but it ends up isolating me instead.
I’ve learned that boundaries are completely different. Boundaries don’t shut people out, they show them the way in. They let people know this is what I need to feel safe, respected, and cared for.
And when we express boundaries with clarity, kindness, and self-respect, people often respond well. Boundaries honour both sides, because they invite real consent, not obligation, keeping us in integrity.
You can feel the difference in the energy of boundaries vs walls: Boundaries are open, rooted in trust. Walls are closed, wrapped in fear.
Boundaries invite connection while protecting your heart. Walls protect too, but at the cost of intimacy.
I’m learning that boundaries are love and trust, for myself, and for the people I want to be in real relationship with.
Breaking Open: The Messy Path to Becoming Authentic
For most of my life, I was terrified of opening up. I was so afraid of the flood of emotions. I thought they would drown me if I let them out. So I played it safe. I pushed it all down. I became a chameleon, blending into my surroundings, moulding myself into what I thought others wanted me to be. I wasn’t really living, I was just surviving, stuck in a numb state.
I didn’t know myself because I wasn’t feeling my body. I was following logic and other people’s expectations, seeking external validation but never my own truth. I was trapped behind a mask of control, people-pleasing and perfectionism, trying to keep it all together. But the emotions I was trying to escape still found ways to erupt, through anxiety, through bursts of rage that I couldn’t contain anymore. I was a pressure cooker, waiting to blow.
The thing I was really blocking by not feeling was growth. The real me... raw, unfiltered, unpolished... was desperate to be seen. To be loved as I was, not as I thought I needed to be. At some point, I couldn’t stay closed anymore. I cracked open. It was messy, ugly, and honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I wouldn’t change it.
Growth doesn’t happen in straight lines. It spirals through dark, shadowy pits and then lifts you into skies so expansive you can hardly believe you made it there. Allowing myself to be imperfect gave me more freedom than trying to control ever did. I realised that by numbing myself to pain, I was also numbing myself to joy. When I surrendered to the fullness of my emotions, I found safety and I found myself.
Now, I’m not as scared of being seen. I’m not as consumed by anxiety or driven by the need to be perfect. I can be messy and beautiful and real, without worrying so much about what people think. I feel safe and free in my own skin. I’ve let go of the masks and the layers that were never mine to hold.
I’d choose this honest, unfiltered version of me over perfection any day.
That’s why OUTSPOKEN has become so special to me, to Giddy Garden and to the other brave humans who have stepped onto that stage. It’s a space where we can crack open, speak our truths, and be seen exactly as we are... unfiltered, messy, and real. It’s a place where stories that are often hidden find a voice, and that vulnerability is met with acceptance. It truly is a magical container that we’re proud to have created. 🌱✨
Make Space for Play Again
Life can get pretty serious sometimes. Responsibilities, routines, expectations and it can feel like there’s no space for play. But what if we changed that?
How can we bring small acts of joy and pleasure into our every day and let our inner children come out to play?
✨ Here’s some examples of how to bring play back into your life but there are so many possibilities:
🌱 Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Put on your favorite song and dance wildly for one song. Let your body move however it wants, no choreography, just freedom. The weirder the better. Move in ways you never have before. When we move in novel ways this creates new neural pathways, improving coordination, balance, and overall brain function. Breaking habitual movement patterns trains your brain to think in new ways, encouraging more flexible, original thinking.
🌱 Create a Tiny Piece of Art
Doodle, paint a rock, cut up some magazines and create a collage or make a composition by laying out whatever’s on your desk. It doesn't need to be pretty. Leave your perfectionist out of this and create for the sake of your inner child. Allow whatever comes out and leave judgement and self critism outside. It's about how it feels to create not about a beautiful outcome.
🌱 Build a Blanket Fort
Create a cozy space just for you. Or invite a friend over and do it together. We would love it so much if someone did this in their workplace. Have fun hanging out in your beautiful new sanctuary.
🌱 Ask someone to do a swap story with you
Find someone to do a swap story with (maybe you could even be brave and ask the person close by in the cafe). My sister and I would do swap stories a lot as children and they were so joyful. The idea is that you write a sentence or a paragraph and then give the piece of paper to the next person to complete the next line (or paragraph). It's amazing where they can lead and they can just be silly and non-sensical and that's totally ok. Again, let that part of you that wants it to be a masterpiece take a back seat.
🌱 Do a Silly Walk for 30 Seconds (or longer if it feels good and you get pleasure from it)
Make up your own ridiculous walk, moving in a way you maybe never have before. This could be in a public place or somewhere just for you. The exhibitionist in me loves the idea of doing this on a public street in Melbourne. I get fearcitement (fear and excitement) just thinking about it. Even better… dress up for it. It always adds an extra layer of fun.
🌱 Create your own life musical
Narrate what you are doing in Song for 5 Minutes (or whatever time feels good for you). Make your everyday tasks a musical!
What were the things you loved doing as a child?
Go fly a kite, go to the playground and jump on the swing, build a sand castle, have a pillow fight, roll down a hill. You may feel self conscious but do it anyway!
🌸 Why Play Matters:
When we play, we break free from rigidity and reconnect with joy. We let our creativity breathe. We find pockets of wonder in the everyday.
Building Trust, Safety, and Respect for Yourself and Relationships
I’ve been listening to Stephanie Rigg’s brilliant On Attachment podcast and doing her Healing Anxious Attachment course and it’s been wonderful. As someone who leans towards anxious attachment, I’ve found her approach refreshingly compassionate. She doesn’t make any insecure attachment style “the bad one” (avoidant attachment often gets unfairly demonised). Instead, she helps you see these patterns for what they are: coping and protective strategies you developed to stay safe in relationships. They’re not “wrong,” but they might not be serving you anymore. And hwer work shows you that you can rewire them.
One of the things I love most about her work is that she focuses on building safety and trust in yourself, so you’re less dependent on external reassurance to feel okay. Here are some of the tools she shares for feeling less anxious and more secure in relationships:
✨ Self-soothing & nervous system care
Learning to calm your body when you’re triggered, so you can respond with compassion instead of reacting from fear. This could be as simple as deep breathing, grounding yourself in your senses, or moving your body to release tension. It’s so common to hear avoidant, anxious, or disorganised attachment talked about as if one is “better” than the others, demonising particular insecure attachment styles that might challenge you or differ from your own. I've been there! But let's re-frame this. These are not flaws. They’re coping and protective strategies we learned in childhood. They are ways we adapted to the dynamics of our families or other relationships to feel safe.
Now as adults, those same strategies play out in our relationships. That doesn’t make us villains. It makes us human.
The real shift happens when we stop pointing fingers at our partners and start taking accountability for our own part. When we notice our patterns, bring awareness to them, and choose to update the ones that no longer serve us. That’s how we build self-trust, and eventually, more secure and connected relationships.
Blame and shame only make us more defensive and closed (and our partners more defensive and closed). Curiosity and compassion open the door to understanding each other’s perspectives and ourselves. None of us asked for these attachment strategies, but it is our responsibility to bring awareness to and change them if we want to create healthier, thriving connections.
We are not here to repeat the old stories of silence, suppression, and “don’t feel.” We are here to do it differently, to meet ourselves and each other with care, and grow together. 🌱 ✨ Validating your own feelings
Instead of seeking constant external approval, practise telling yourself “My feelings are valid. I can trust my internal experience.” This builds self-trust and makes you less reliant on others to confirm your worth.
✨ Integrity-based decision-making
Making choices from your values helps you feel aligned and empowered, rather than chasing approval or safety through people-pleasing and behaviours that don't feel aligned.
✨ Distinguishing between anxiety & intuition
Anxious attachment can make every pang of fear feel urgent and true. Learning to recognise “This is anxiety” allows you to comfort that part of yourself, pause, and act from a calmer, wiser more intuitive place.
✨ Stretching your comfort zone in safe ways
Growth comes from trying new things, but not at the cost of overwhelming your nervous system. Find gentle edges to lean into, challenges that feel a little scary, but still safe enough to try. This builds confidence and resilience over time.
If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety in relationships, I can’t recommend Stephanie’s work enough. Her tools are both gentle and powerful, helping you move from reactivity and fear towards grounded, secure, deeply connected relationships.
Performer: @jaimeleewilloughby
Photo credit: @hmerlfoto
What We Stand For
We believe in the power of play — that when we let ourselves be silly, curious, and spontaneous, we unlock parts of ourselves that have been buried under the weight of seriousness and self-consciousness. Play isn’t just for kids. It’s for anyone longing to feel alive.
We believe that connection is the heartbeat of community. That being truly seen and met as you are — raw, real, weird, wonderful — is one of the most human experiences we can offer each other. Connection isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up, flaws and all, and knowing you’re welcome anyway.
We believe that creativity isn’t just for artists — it’s for everyone brave enough to try something new. To colour outside the lines. To write a story you didn’t know you had inside you. To dance your truth, sing your joy, or speak your heart, even when it’s messy. Especially when it’s messy.
We believe in growth — not as a polished, linear journey, but as a tangled, unpredictable process of becoming more ourselves. Sometimes growth means being brave. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means leaving behind what no longer fits. And that’s okay. Growth means honouring our evolution, even when it looks nothing like we expected.
We believe in intentional community — spaces where you’re not required to perform or pretend. Where your presence matters. Where differences are celebrated and quirks are cherished. We believe that diversity makes us richer, and that healing is deeper when we are held by others who see our struggles and honour our journeys.
We believe in being unapologetically weird — because weirdness is magic. It’s the thing that makes you you. The world doesn’t need more conformity. It needs more brave souls willing to dance to their own rhythm, wear their quirks like a crown, and make life a little more colourful just by being here.
We believe in creating meaningful entertainment — not just shows that dazzle, but stories that resonate. Performances that move us. Moments that make us feel more alive, more connected, more human. Whether it’s spoken word, ritual theater, immersive storytelling, or a dance that shakes loose something hidden, we’re here to make art that matters.
We believe in allowing people to be where they’re at. To come as they are. To be met with non-judgment, acceptance, love, and trust. We believe that authenticity is a practice and that the more we practice it, the safer it becomes to be real.
We believe in creating a space where you can breathe, laugh, dance, cry, reflect, connect, and explore. A space where it’s okay to take up space. To make noise. To fall apart. To celebrate. To just be.
We believe that when we show up as ourselves, without pretense or perfection, we create something truly magical together.
Photo credit: Vas Chakra Photography
Letting Go to Make Space for Who You’re Becoming
We have great capacity for growth if we allow ourselves and give ourselves permission to be more of who we truly are. To change, bend, expand and shift. Sometimes that means reclaiming parts of ourselves that once felt too tender, too messy, too real to show. Other times, it means letting go of things that once felt essential, because they just don't feel aligned with our values anymore.
It’s okay to realise that something you once loved no longer serves you. Maybe a hobby that used to light you up now feels draining. Maybe an identity that kept you safe for years now feels too small.
Does it still feel aligned with who you are today? It’s normal to grow out of things. It’s natural to change. I acknowledge that change can also feel scary as hell so doing it at a pace that is comfortable for our nervous systems is also important.
I am a very different person than I was in my early 20s. Back then, I loved things that don’t resonate anymore, and I know that will keep happening as I continue through life. Maybe in 10 years, I’ll look back at what I love now and feel the same. And that’s okay. Life is too short to hold tightly to things that no longer align with who we’re becoming.
My interests change often because I’m always seeking new and exciting experiences. But I’m grateful I don’t force myself to hold onto things just because they once made sense. Letting go doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself. It means you’re making space for who you’re becoming.
Give yourself permission to move on. Give yourself permission to grow. 🌱✨
Performer: @connormalanos
Photo credit: @hmerlfoto
Define Your Own Pleasure
We hear it all the time: what “good sex” should look like, sound like, feel like. But there’s no single definition of “good sex” because it’s deeply personal.
So many of us get tangled in myths that make us feel inadequate:
✨ It has to be spontaneous and wild.
✨ It should always end in orgsm.
✨ It must be frequent to be fulfilling.
✨ It’s only good if it looks like a movie scene.
The reality is, “good s3x” can be:
🌿 Slow, gentle, and worshiping tenderly.
🌿 Playful, creative, silly, awkward, and full of laughter.
🌿 A conversation of bodies... exploring, pausing, listening.
🌿 Sometimes just holding each other, without any pressure to perform.
🌿 Centered on intimacy, safety, and connection, rather than performance.
The best way to have good sex? Define it for yourself. Tune in to what your body actually wants... not what you think it should want. Allow it to be messy, imperfect, and full of your own unique flavor. Talk about it, explore it, be curious about what gives you pleasure.
What makes sex feel good to you? When we let go of the pressure to “get it right,” we can actually relax into what feels true and be more in the moment. And that’s where the real pleasure lives.
Model: @velvetttempleeros
Photo credit: @ports_by_me
Lowering Walls by Being Open and Curious
Sometimes the most powerful shifts in our relationships come from the smallest changes. Like learning to pause before reacting, or swapping “you never...” for “when this happens, I feel...” suddenly, a wall lowers. A moment of defensiveness softens. A little more of you gets to be seen without the noise.
I’ve been really connecting with the work of James “Fish” Gill lately.
He shares that when we step into conflict, both people are often closed off, protecting themselves, defending their side, unable to truly hear the other.
We don’t want to be the “bad guy,” so we sometimes can’t see our part in the dynamic. It is important for us to reflect on how we could show up differently and be more open and curious.
The shift happens when one person enters the conversation with an open heart, willing to understand where the other was coming from, even if they’ve caused us pain. When we speak from both our own experience, and our curiosity about theirs, something shifts. The wall comes down, and the other person often meets us in a very different place.
In his book How to Fall in Love With Humanity, he writes about taking someone out of the “villain” role and seeing them in their messy humanness, with their own coping and protective strategies.
We don't often want to hurt the other person but hurt, mistakes, and misunderstandings are inevitable in relationships. But our willingness to repair, to talk about ruptures, no matter how small, can make all the difference between shutting down and finding our way back to connection with each other.
The Magic of Play in Intimate Connections
There’s something magical that happens when we invite play into our intimate connections.... not just in the bedroom, but in the energy between us.
Play dissolves pressure. It breaks the spell of performance. It brings us back into our bodies, into the moment, into laughter and ease.
So often, intimacy can feel serious, where we are in our heads, trying to impress, trying to get it right. But silliness is a shortcut to trust. When we allow ourselves to be weird, awkward, goofy, or creative together, we say: "I feel safe to be seen by you." And that is the foundation of real intimacy.
Here are some playful practices to try with a lover or someone you're building connection with:
🎭 Role-play ridiculous characters — a flirtatious sea captain, a seductive librarian.
🎶 Become a conductor — play music and use your partner’s body as your instrument: tap, stroke, swirl, strum and drum.
🎲 Create a jar of sexy/silly challenges — write down activities, dares, or fantasies, and take turns drawing from the hat.
👁️ Play the mirror game — one leads, one follows, with facial expressions, touch, or movement.
🎨 Make messy art together — finger paint, collage on big paper or body paint each other.
🎤 Create a nonsensical language — and try to “seduce” or “compliment” each other with it.
🍽️ Blindfold feeding game — try tasting and guessing different foods while blindfolded.
Play builds a bridge. It reminds us that intimacy isn’t just about depth, it’s about connection, delight and pleasure. And often, the most powerful connections are born not in perfection, but in laughter, weirdness, and the courage to be fully you.
Terrified and Brave at the Same Time
People often say I’m brave for getting up on stage and sharing my shame, grief, anger, and all the messy parts of being human. They see me standing there, vulnerable and open, and assume I must be fearless. But the truth? I don’t feel brave in the moment. I mostly feel terrified.
Before I speak, my mind is filled with doubts: Will I be judged? Will people see me differently? Will sharing this part of myself make me seem too much, too raw, too exposed?
But there’s something bigger than the fear... my intention. I ask myself: Could this story help someone else? Could someone hear the way I’ve overcome a challenge and find their own strength in it? Could it be the ember that stokes someone’s fire when they’re at their lowest?
And that intention pulls me through. Every time.
The more I’ve shared, the easier it’s become to let my heart be seen. But it’s been a journey to get here. I still sometimes wonder how it will be perceived, and I have moments when I question my own courage. Yet, the rewards have always outweighed the risks.
Through expressing my truth, I’ve unmasked the parts of me that once hid behind people-pleasing and the need to be liked. I’ve stopped moulding myself into who I thought others wanted me to be, and that feels pretty magical. I’m more at peace in my body, I move more freely, and I’m able to listen to my own wants and desires without so much second-guessing. Anxiety has softened, and I feel a deeper sense of love, trust, and safety within myself.
It’s not always popular. I’ve noticed that some people don’t like the growth they see in me or feel uncomfortable with the change. I’ve had to grieve relationships that couldn’t hold space for my new way of being. That’s been hard, but I wouldn’t change it. Because the alternative is to stay small, stay silent, and stay hidden. And I’m done with that.
The power of expressing myself more freely has given me a life that feels true, not moulded by external expectations, but guided by what my body and heart are telling me. Sometimes I still slip back into old patterns, but it’s happening less and less. This journey toward authenticity is ongoing, but it’s worth every uncomfortable step.
And if sharing my truth helps even one person feel less alone, more seen, or a little braver, then it’s more than worth it. 🌱✨
Noticing and Nurturing Invitations for Connection
Invitations for Connection can be the tiny, everyday gestures that hold relationships together, like glue you can’t see, but feel. An invitation can be as simple as a shared glance or taking a pause to hold each others gaze, a gentle touch, a loving smile that lights up your face as your beloved, friend or sister walks into the room, a “hey, look at this!” or a “can I tell you something that’s on my mind?” It’s any moment where someone is reaching out, not with the intent of getting attention, but for emotional connection.
And how we respond matters. Turning toward these small invitations, with your body language, your presence, a smile, a hand squeeze, tells the other person: I see you. I care. I’m here. Over time, these moments build trust, safety, and intimacy. When we consistently miss or dismiss these gestures, we’re not just ignoring the moment, we’re creating tiny rifts of disconnection that can grow wider over time.
Learning to notice and respond to connection invitations (and making your own) can completely shift the energy in your relationships. They don’t need to be grand gestures, it’s a bunch of the small stuff that says you matter to me.
The Warrior Archetype: Fierce, Clear, and Open-Hearted
The warrior is not just a figure of battle, they are a symbol of courage, strength, clarity, and devotion. The warrior archetype lives in those who choose to rise... not in aggression, but in integrity. In those who learn when to draw a boundary, when to speak a fierce truth, and when to stand for something greater than themselves.
Warriors move not from ego, but from purpose. From a deep knowing of what matters and a willingness to act on that knowing, even when it’s uncomfortable.
The true warrior’s strength lies not in their armour, but in their discernment, their devotion, and their ability to keep their heart open while standing firm. A warrior knows the terrain of fear and takes the next step boldly and does not let fear lead. They do not seek war... they seek alignment. And they meet challenge not with domination, but with clarity, courage, and embodied truth.
My wish is that we can all embody the warrior within us: the part that protects what is important, that speaks when it would be easier to stay silent, that moves with precision and purpose. The part that is done shrinking. The part that knows how to fight for themselves and others with love as the weapon, truth as the flame and anger as a driver for change.
To embody the warrior is to remember that your fire is not too much. That your strength is not a threat. That your boundaries are important. That your body is wise. And that standing tall in who you are, especially when it shakes the ground beneath you, is a radical act of love and courage.
Holding Space Isn’t About Fixing
Holding space is one of the greatest gifts we can offer another person.
It’s more than just “listening.” It’s a conscious, intentional act of presence. It’s about creating a container where someone feels safe to be fully themselves, without needing to perform, explain, or be "fixed."
It’s not about doing it perfectly, it’s about showing up with your whole heart, your whole presence, and your willingness to let someone be exactly as they are, without judgment.
Conscious space-holding asks for our full awareness, stillness, empathy and deep care.
Here’s what I’ve learned about how to hold space consciously:
🌱 Check In With Yourself First
Before you offer support, ask:
➔ Do I have the emotional capacity to hold this right now?
➔ Am I grounded enough to stay present without making it about me? It’s okay to say no if you can’t.
True support is only real when it’s given freely, not from obligation.
🌱 Offer, Don’t Assume
Instead of diving in to "fix" or "solve," offer your presence:
➔ "Would you like me to just listen, or are you wanting advice?"
➔"Are you ok if I ask you some questions about this?"
Give them the choice. Let them lead.
🌱 Reflect and validate
Reflect or validate feelings gently.
Hold up a mirror so they can see themselves more clearly, without heightening the emotional charge or inserting your own story. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is simply:
➔ "I hear you. That sounds really hard. I'm here."
🌱 Stay with the Discomfort
We naturally want to rush to solutions because witnessing pain is uncomfortable.
But conscious space-holding asks us to stay, to resist the urge to tidy up messy feelings, to let the silences be heavy if they need to be.
Your calm presence is often more healing than any words you could offer.
🌱 Respect Boundaries (Yours and Theirs)
Just because someone shares doesn’t mean they want deep probing questions. Ask them if they are ok with you asking questions.
And just because you’re offering support doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own well-being if you feel that you don't have the capacity.
Sometimes they might appreciate a gentle, loving touch... a hand on their leg, their shoulder, or a hug... but it’s important to check in first, as physical contact can sometimes pull them out of their process.